I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
