Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
