These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
