You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
