people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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