I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
