So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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