Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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