So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
