Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
last night I used snow as a chaser
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
