Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
