Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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