i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
