Yo dont text me then not text me
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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