I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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