Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
