I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
