You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
