Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
