my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
