chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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