Girls should come with a carfax report
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
