I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
