so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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