we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
