So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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