If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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