Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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