when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize