So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
if only i could text you this smell
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize