it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
