Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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