Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
