By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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