so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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