Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
