Well apparently he's into motor boating.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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