Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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