I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize