I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
