He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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