the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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