The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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