I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
