It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
