The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
