I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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