she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
