An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My dick has a subreddit
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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