your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
