laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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