i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Watching her eat just hurts me
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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