if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
