Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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