i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
