i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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