She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize