Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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