some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
